"He wasn't the right one" A phrase often heard after a break-up or the realization that you have just wasted the past six months to a year with a douche. What does "the right one" even mean? Does he wipe your tears when you cry? Does he open doors? Does he finish your sentences? My Favorite: Does he love you like a fat kid loves cake? To me "the right one" means that he has certain qualities and standards that make for the man of my dreams (Justin Timberlake). Every woman's set of standards to which she feels the guy is the right fit is completely different. As an experiment I met up with a bunch of my girlfriends and asked them what ingredients they look for in a guy that make up the recipe for the "right guy". Some of the qualities included:
- Communication Skills
- Humor
- Family Oriented
- Motivated
- Intelligence
- Chemistry
Personally, I agree with almost every quality mentioned, but I realized some of the qualities I look for, and base my decision on whether or not the dude is right for me were not even on the radar for my girls. For me it's all about :
- Loyalty
- Ambition
- Open-Mindedness
- Generosity
Not much right? WRONG. Finding a guy that posses' all the qualities you are looking for is close to looking for a unicorn, but that's why women like my friends and I have had trouble finding the "right one" because relationships and love are all about the right recipe. A little bit of this, and a pinch of that, makeup the man of our dreams, but recipes change depending on the person, and that person's taste.
I must say, if anyone is picky, its me. I am slowly learning that dudes are not perfect and neither am I, but it also doesn't mean that I should totally give up my standards. It's really all about balancing the good with the bad. Example: the guys you see who date those bimbos? It's all possible because the dude is willing to compromise a good convo for the fact that she's gorgeous and great in bed. Totally not trying to stereotype, but it's the easiest example I could think of. It's all about the give and take. Keep some standards, but don't overwhelm yourselves trying to find the perfect guy, because he doesn't exist, and whats perfect to you now, will probably change.
Ladies, put down your lists, put your freakum' dresses on, and go out there and live life. The "right" guy will make his way to you when the time is right, and the ingredients seem fit for the recipe of your life. So, if there is any advice I can tell you girls out there it's this: stop looking for the "right" guy, finding a dude that has every quality that's on your checklist is going to leave you with gray hair and dry panties.